Johnny Drama

So. My mother came over for a visit last week. You know, it seems that all of my most interesting posts revolve around my mother. Maybe I could do something similar to a Shit My Dad Says blog, but instead it would be Crazy Talk by My Mother. Anyways. Two things of note: 1) My mother has started smoking again. She hasn't smoked since I was, oh, about nine years old. So, in well over twenty years. What caused the sudden switch? You got it, hanging around with The Drunk. She is so contradictory it kills me. Here she is busy tramping through the sub-boreal forest to find deciduous tree conks so that she can make nasty assed tea out of them because they are supposed to be ever so healthy; she's growing her own sprouts; she's making serious overtures to eat healthier because she's trying to manage her thyroid problem without prescription medication. And then she SMOKES?! What kind of sense does that make? Henhouse chicken crazy kind of sense, that's what. Okay, so that's the first thing of note. The second thing is this: she seriously believes that when I was vaccinated against the H1N1 virus, I was also implanted with a government tracking chip because the needle was bigger than your average flu shot needle. Help me Jebus. I asked her why. She said, "so the government can track you." I told her that your average flu-shot getting person isn't a criminal and so why would the government spend a bajillion dollars implanting chips in the general populace (I mean seriously, that kind of nanotechnology ain't cheap and we've got serious debt problems already). She said, "Look up Alex Jones, he'll explain it." I haven't looked up Alex Jones. I'm sure that he is some manner of educated conspiracy theorizing crackpot. Truth be told, I'm a little bit nervous to look up Alex Jones. What if he's, like, seriously crazy. Then what do I think about my mother?! I can't think about it anymore.

So, I have been really irregular about the whole blogging business lately; I've allowed it to go to the back burner now that the end-semester break is over and my newest course is back in full swing. So, I was thinking that I have to have a goal in mind in order to motivate myself to blog regularly. No, I'm not going to blog about my mother! Well, ok, I totally will sometimes, but it won't be my motivating factor. Instead, I am going to try to blog daily about something that makes me thankful/happy/positive/grateful each day. In an attempt to think positively and bring positivity into my present state of mind, I will be forthcoming each day with a tidbit of positivity. Because a positive state of mind is important, and I have this tendency towards sarcasm and negativity.

Today I am thankful for technology. No, not nanotechnology floating through my bloodstream allowing covert government ops to track my every move (and boy would they be bored…there she goes to the laundry room again. Now she's in the bathroom. She sits her ass on that couch in front of that laptop an awful lot, I think I'll take a nap). No, I am thankful for baby monitor technology. The kind that allows me to sit here typing this while listening to my little Brumby falling asleep. It will also allow me to go downstairs later and watch part 9 of The Pacific knowing that if my sweet little bebe makes a peep, I will hear it. It will give me the freedom to go outside any evening this week that I choose to plant my garden in the backyard. Or have a shower without imagining that I might be hearing him crying out there. This technology gives me freedom, and tonight, I am thankful for that freedom.